kahluagal: (Default)
kahluagal ([personal profile] kahluagal) wrote2017-05-14 06:39 pm
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Pretty soon I will have run through all my savings. There's a possibility I will have to return home and... live in my sister's basement. The embarassment of not having a goddamn thing to show for my life.

If things don't turn around soon within the year I will off myself. I won't have money for rent, medication, anything, really. If my computer dies, I have no family who have a nest-egg, no farm to escape to. That's it.

That life is over. I have been asleep, struggling, always struggling, for the past 12 years that I've been here. I should never have left Canada. I've failed miserably in this life, and just ended up with debt and no job prospects.

It would not surprise me if within the year I'm living homeless on the streets of vancouver or something, somewhere warm so i can at least survive on it. never felt this desperate and pretty much ready to give everythinga way. I'm spinning my wheels and kidding myself if any of this will ever, EVER change.

That's it, then.