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Mar. 10th, 2021 08:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kahluagalHe has no notion of self care or time management. I don't see him for 2 weeks because he's finishing selling his dad's house, and he drives back. A normal person might say a 4 hour drive and a doctor's appointment is enough - but no. Let's also have a meeting to sell the motorcycle too! It's because I'm not a priority and never will be.H e prioritized selling his bike over me. He could have done that the next day. But no. Always something else.
He could have hired contractors to help do the house, but nope - he just kept on doing it. Stubborn, petty, sarcastic. Control freak, anger management issues. "I don't need to feel weird or guilty right now'. "I need you to be less morbid".
This man is undateable and I am getting post-PTSD flashbacks of all the abusive boyfriends.
He reminds me that he's set to get money from selling his house. This may be one of the few chances to have a partner to take care of me. I resent - deeply - that most of my choices in this life have been financial, tied to someone else, in order to avoid homelessness.
I don't have hobbies - when I'm not looking for work I'm spending time trying to improve my resume, or look at cheaper places to live.
I don't have a life. This isn't a life. This is a slow kind of torture with shiny objects to distract me.
I need to find a therapist and I dread the Zoom therapist experience and know I'll just be crying through the first sessions.
need to escape.
I want to leave this city, this job, this country and this relationship. I would do anything to escape all of it.
He could have hired contractors to help do the house, but nope - he just kept on doing it. Stubborn, petty, sarcastic. Control freak, anger management issues. "I don't need to feel weird or guilty right now'. "I need you to be less morbid".
This man is undateable and I am getting post-PTSD flashbacks of all the abusive boyfriends.
He reminds me that he's set to get money from selling his house. This may be one of the few chances to have a partner to take care of me. I resent - deeply - that most of my choices in this life have been financial, tied to someone else, in order to avoid homelessness.
I don't have hobbies - when I'm not looking for work I'm spending time trying to improve my resume, or look at cheaper places to live.
I don't have a life. This isn't a life. This is a slow kind of torture with shiny objects to distract me.
I need to find a therapist and I dread the Zoom therapist experience and know I'll just be crying through the first sessions.
need to escape.
I want to leave this city, this job, this country and this relationship. I would do anything to escape all of it.
