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I am now alone
Aug. 13th, 2023 04:47 pmThe boyfriend dumped me after repeated months of emotional abuse and 2 years of pandemic dating. He moved on quickly and is building a house with his new supply - two houses one for him, one for her - and has cut me out of his life. I have an idea of an email to send to him (more on that later) that will hurt him and get me the justice. He will never apologize for his malevolence. He is toxic. He is damaged. He is hate.
The words that can destroy us are as deadly a weapon as a gun. Worse, probably.
I am reminded of who needs to be in my life, and who are Adulting Actors - the people who I will be nice to and wear a mask, but NEVER reveal myself to. These are the job references, the 'people with a car', the people who I for whatever reason have to play 'nicey nice'. These are not my people. I have my goals and I will find my chosen people - the witches, the kink friendly people, the Burners, everyone who I believe in more.
I hate living here - this city, this country - and am applying to move overseas and am focusing on the job hunt there (with a temporary stop somewhere cheaper, even getting a roommate, as gross as that is). Maybe I'll move to Boston or some other big city temporarily - not that any place is cheap. But I have a plan to do all the things I want - including getting my poetry published. And the message I will send the ex is one of the most eloquent things I've ever written, and it will sting. I have to decide how far and how honest to go, but I don't want this toxic person in my life so may the bridges I burn light the way.
The best part is I know something that happened to him that in some ways he always fought but knows it's true - how his family thought of him. The way I phrased it, I hope to also publish that prose piece. There is nothing more I want than fame and to see him crumple as my star rises.
I hope he ends up alone after screaming at another unsuspecting woman. How many has he yelled at, over his life?
The words that can destroy us are as deadly a weapon as a gun. Worse, probably.
I am reminded of who needs to be in my life, and who are Adulting Actors - the people who I will be nice to and wear a mask, but NEVER reveal myself to. These are the job references, the 'people with a car', the people who I for whatever reason have to play 'nicey nice'. These are not my people. I have my goals and I will find my chosen people - the witches, the kink friendly people, the Burners, everyone who I believe in more.
I hate living here - this city, this country - and am applying to move overseas and am focusing on the job hunt there (with a temporary stop somewhere cheaper, even getting a roommate, as gross as that is). Maybe I'll move to Boston or some other big city temporarily - not that any place is cheap. But I have a plan to do all the things I want - including getting my poetry published. And the message I will send the ex is one of the most eloquent things I've ever written, and it will sting. I have to decide how far and how honest to go, but I don't want this toxic person in my life so may the bridges I burn light the way.
The best part is I know something that happened to him that in some ways he always fought but knows it's true - how his family thought of him. The way I phrased it, I hope to also publish that prose piece. There is nothing more I want than fame and to see him crumple as my star rises.
I hope he ends up alone after screaming at another unsuspecting woman. How many has he yelled at, over his life?
