(no subject)
Jul. 17th, 2018 01:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kahluagalI have to stop spending so much time online and in particular on social media, but so depressed and anxious about the future and a lot more hopeless ever since each job rejection. I only apply for the ones I could even vaguely do, and get rejects - so impressive experience, yada yada - but so depressing to go through this. Actively trying to contact companies but so many of them seem so dysfunctional - I can't bring myself to work at VICE if it's a sexist shithole.
Really losing any confidence I once had, and if I had some artistic outlet I could at least say as a hobby, it would help, but nothing - writing, drawing, thinking about a side business all feel insurmountable and everything requires money and training and time, none of which I can do because... job hunt. All the time. Running out of money and hope.
America is draining me of everything.
Going through the unemployment experience is dreadful. Last time the lady beat me up so much and made me feel like a failure, and I had to just sit there and take it as she tsk-tsked me if I wanted my money. So upsetting.
Everything is upsetting, all the time now.
Really losing any confidence I once had, and if I had some artistic outlet I could at least say as a hobby, it would help, but nothing - writing, drawing, thinking about a side business all feel insurmountable and everything requires money and training and time, none of which I can do because... job hunt. All the time. Running out of money and hope.
America is draining me of everything.
Going through the unemployment experience is dreadful. Last time the lady beat me up so much and made me feel like a failure, and I had to just sit there and take it as she tsk-tsked me if I wanted my money. So upsetting.
Everything is upsetting, all the time now.
