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Oct. 4th, 2020 08:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kahluagalI try to keep capturing points against contacting him - we now go 5 days between a message, and it's almost always him who sends it.
I try to reread the messages where he talks about his 2 partners and say, "I am not part of this". He is full of red flags. He sees me as a sexting buddy, not even a friend.
This is the first time in my life I'm trying to back away from someone, and feel hopefully this is progress.
He posted something earlier about ventilators and Barron and unplugging in the ICU that was borderline poor taste. I let him know a couple of days ago that my dad is in the ICU and is not likely to make it. He probably forgot.
I don't know if he just has such poor memory from meds or what, but there's a lot of gaps in his memory.
It makes me wonder if he pays attention to what I say or he's just in love with the flirting and I'm making up any level of him ever being interested. If he goes from super interested daily messages to nothing for 7 days, do I even want to know why?
I got taken in by him being cute, by him thinking I was sexy, but the communication style and the constant meme posting and multiple chat sessions with people at the same time, the reminder he's going to stay in the midwest and always be 15 years younger than me in so many ways - I have to keep myself strong and focused and not get carried away by the thought of him and ask myself why I keep settling for scraps.
He was on OKCupid where I had sent a message - one of the few attractive people (to me), but I think the fact that I had two bad relationships end from there makes me hate online dating. I have to just see him as red flags and concentrate on a new job, new apartment, leaving NYC and everything I want to do that has nothing to do with him.
How can I miss someone I've never met? how did i fall for the idea of him so quickly? Am I ever going to be strong enough to not need someone?
I try to reread the messages where he talks about his 2 partners and say, "I am not part of this". He is full of red flags. He sees me as a sexting buddy, not even a friend.
This is the first time in my life I'm trying to back away from someone, and feel hopefully this is progress.
He posted something earlier about ventilators and Barron and unplugging in the ICU that was borderline poor taste. I let him know a couple of days ago that my dad is in the ICU and is not likely to make it. He probably forgot.
I don't know if he just has such poor memory from meds or what, but there's a lot of gaps in his memory.
It makes me wonder if he pays attention to what I say or he's just in love with the flirting and I'm making up any level of him ever being interested. If he goes from super interested daily messages to nothing for 7 days, do I even want to know why?
I got taken in by him being cute, by him thinking I was sexy, but the communication style and the constant meme posting and multiple chat sessions with people at the same time, the reminder he's going to stay in the midwest and always be 15 years younger than me in so many ways - I have to keep myself strong and focused and not get carried away by the thought of him and ask myself why I keep settling for scraps.
He was on OKCupid where I had sent a message - one of the few attractive people (to me), but I think the fact that I had two bad relationships end from there makes me hate online dating. I have to just see him as red flags and concentrate on a new job, new apartment, leaving NYC and everything I want to do that has nothing to do with him.
How can I miss someone I've never met? how did i fall for the idea of him so quickly? Am I ever going to be strong enough to not need someone?
