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May. 16th, 2020 01:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kahluagalI feel as if as soon as I have one fire put out - did I pay gas bill, waiting for autoenroll - something else pops up.
I don't think I'm going to be able to survive on my own for much longer. As a couple or someone with a group of friends, you stand a fighting chance.
I'm scared of the future, of getting laid off, of being homeless.
Getting laid off is a possibility - my company is uncertain. I'm not doing well at work, so it wouldn't surprise me if I got fired. The fact I'm an older women in tech with a sub-par portfolio doesnt help.
The idea of packing up and selling everything to live in my sister's basement once seemed like a silly bit of paranoia. Now with Covid, me feeling like I'm mentally declining? All if this is suddenly very, very real and I'm really scared. I look at my overpriced apartment where I'm trying to get rid of things if I have to move and I fall into panic.
The problem is of course looking for therapists - not only the cost, but the fact I don't think I'd make it through 10 minutes without bursting into tears.
I feel like my life is slipping away before my eyes, and the only constant in my life is my tears as I watch it all fade.
I don't think I'm going to be able to survive on my own for much longer. As a couple or someone with a group of friends, you stand a fighting chance.
I'm scared of the future, of getting laid off, of being homeless.
Getting laid off is a possibility - my company is uncertain. I'm not doing well at work, so it wouldn't surprise me if I got fired. The fact I'm an older women in tech with a sub-par portfolio doesnt help.
The idea of packing up and selling everything to live in my sister's basement once seemed like a silly bit of paranoia. Now with Covid, me feeling like I'm mentally declining? All if this is suddenly very, very real and I'm really scared. I look at my overpriced apartment where I'm trying to get rid of things if I have to move and I fall into panic.
The problem is of course looking for therapists - not only the cost, but the fact I don't think I'd make it through 10 minutes without bursting into tears.
I feel like my life is slipping away before my eyes, and the only constant in my life is my tears as I watch it all fade.
