(no subject)

[kahluagal]

Aaron's dysfunctional love language, in a nut shell

• buy something expensive so I stick around
• he feel guilty doing it and hates himself, very often
• starts being argumentative or aggressive
• I call him out on it
• he apologizes, perhaps buys me something to make up for it.

I see him as one of the undatables - I sense he will end up alone at the end of his life with his cats.  That's not my life.  I'm using this as a way to learn how to be present and not overwhelmed in a relationship - so while it's good to have him in my life in the middle of a pandemic, I have no illusions as to the length of this, and hope to start doing the hobbies and maybe see him once a week, if that.  And if it ends, it ends - his loss.  He can have his little tantrums.  Connecting to him isn't worth it.  I see this as growth, and being in love with healthy more than any of his destruction.